Unless you are my friend or a loved one, you’ve probably never heard me mention out loud that I want to be married and have a family of my own…like, yesterday. Probably because I don’t want anyone to confuse my sentiments with desperation. Also, I don’t take it for granted that God has blessed me with a really good life and I don’t want to overshadow it with discussion about what’s not. But it’s so real. This part of my life has been such a source of frustration. The waiting…the excitement of a new prospect…the good times…the letdown. Cycle repeat. I hate to be so honest, but…sometimes I feel like I’m being teased or like I’m being played with every time I take a lap around this mountain. I didn’t give myself this desire. God did. And because He’s God, He has the power to do anything. Including, and especially, answering this prayer. So why am I still on hold?
Herein lies the problem: We want the best, which we know only God is capable of producing…so we “wait on God.” But instead of letting God manage and retain the servicing rights of the desires He gives us, we take off running with them. Then as time ticks on with no sign of fulfillment, we challenge God’s goodness and give Him the super side eye for not delivering. This is what happens when we relentlessly pursue His hand, but not His heart.
“Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”
We often use Psalm 37:4 as support for our frustration when our prayers seem to go unanswered. But this verse doesn’t purport that desiring God gets you everything you want. To delight yourself in the Lord is to take great pleasure in His presence. Make Him your primary “want” and the joy of your heart. Depend on Him to be your portion. Require that His love be your only source of satisfaction. It has taken me many years to understand that “being happy with Christ alone” is not just cliché. Not only is it possible, but it’s an imperative. The heart of God is not just a level to be conquered…it is the ultimate prize. When God is truly your heart’s primary desire, His will overwhelms yours. You’ll want what God wants…you’ll be pleased by what pleases Him. These are the desires He fulfills.
To fixate on and seek the fulfillment of any desire [other than God] is akin to filling a pothole with cotton balls. Any car that drives over that inappropriate “fix” will need repair. However, if the pothole is filled with asphalt, any car that drives over it will be safe. Likewise, God knows how to pour a foundation properly so that anything built upon it will last and be safe. Any additional gifts from God will only rest securely on His foundation.
If the first paragraph signifies where you are regarding any desire, know that God is not playing “keep away” with you. He is more concerned with building the proper infrastructure in your heart for His will to be done. Implicit therein is your happiness. Get to know this Wonderful Savior in Whom you can place your trust. He loves you. He won’t hurt you. He is for you. God is a good Dad and He wants you to have His best. That is why He freely offered Himself. He is the wellspring of Living Water that yields eternal satisfaction and never runs dry. Drink up.